Cagando de risa

It's funny how life really is what you make of it. Perception is everything. I had my breakdown in Panvo and a couple of days later found myself in really a much worse situation, but mentally so much better. After a couple of days at the palace in Bamvim I was ill. Diarrhea ill. Really really really terribly ill. No amount of Immodium, Pepto Bismol, Mist Kaolin or Magnesium Milk combination was making me better. At the point that I hadn't eaten in a day, but was still pooping, just pooping water. Not the first time I've been that sick (it's actually the third time here in Ghana). I took some ciprofloxacin, which really is magic, but takes several hours to kick in. (How easy it is to get medicine here is wonderful. I spent two weeks fighting with Walgreens and my insurance company that at the end only agreed to give me four pills for $10, here I walked into a pharmacy and got a box of 10 for $4)

Terrible diarrhea and not a hole in sight, just me, a watering can, an open field, and 20-30 children following me to watch me poop. Six times. To make matters worse, my iPod broke and my phone died right as my charger broke, all in the same night. But really I was in the best mental place.  I felt great, even if my body didn't. The focus groups with farmers and market women during the day had gone beautifully and I was ready to let my bowels continue to grumble it out on my mat, knowing that the cipro would kick in by the morning.

I woke up at 4:30am to prayer call, a rooster, and the rumblings of the palace around me (I sleep outside because my room is too hot), and not really feeling all that better. In fact, I felt worse. I needed to go. Again. So I got up and went to get my water can and flashlight and prepped to go to the field. As I got up I realized just how bad I felt, I didn't think I was going to make it to the field. I was gonna explode, I was actually already starting to explode right in my pants. I looked around my room and saw the plastic bag I was keeping garbage in and figured I would use that and throw it out afterwards.

I squatted and went, praying no child would come bursting through my door as they often do (my door doesn't lock). They didn't. I uncontrollably relieved myself, my bowels really don't like Ghana. I finish and turn around to realize I'd completely missed the bag. Oh yes.

Here I am not feeling all that much better with my water poop all over the palace room floor. I have no water, no sponge, no paper, no way to clean it up, so I decide to go for a pair of shorts I didn't really plan on keeping anyway and what was left of some toilet paper at the bottom of my bag. I cleaned it up and nonchalantly walked out with the bag to throw it in a field. After I return I realize, of course, how do I get rid of the smell??  No perfume, no soap, nothing. I see the mug of tea from the day before and opted for that with some shower soap. That didn't really work too well. But I was in a hurry and after awhile I just opened the window and decided to blame it on a goat if anybody asked.

But as I found myself squat pantless cleaning my poop off a palace floor with tea and soap I simply could not stop laughing. I laughed so much there were tears in my eyes. It was just hysterical. In Colombia, we have an expression when something is really funny, we say you're "cagando de risa" which translates to "shitting with laughter", and that is quite literally what I was doing. Shitting with laughter...on the floor of a palace in the middle of Ghana.

Not feeling all that better, but just laughing beyond belief. A classic T.I.A. moment indeed. This is my life. And it's hilarious. It's one of those times, those weird epiphany moments, that  I have to look around and just realize no matter what life may throw at me, I can probably handle it. I have 18 days left of this crazy Ghana, and as I think more and more about what life will bring for me next all I can say is: Bring it! If I can shit on the floor of a palace, clean it up with tea, and keep my dignity and grace, I can probably do anything.


PS: This fiasco happened this morning. My cipro has kicked in already and I feel fine. Even ate bread. I've also been monitoring my temperature regularly, as diarrhea is a symptom of malaria (although it wasn't for me). No temperature. I'm peachy. So don't worry. And mom, as soon as I can track down a new charger I'll call.