In a special afternoon edition of “Life In This Ghana” we had a lengthy discussion on gender roles. Not the first time we’ve talked of the issue, even had a lecture on it, but nonetheless it was an “epiphany” moment of just how deep the roots of tradition govern modern behavior.
All 18 of us has had completely different family set-ups in all parts of Kumasi and Accra so having time to compare and contrast experiences has really helped get a feel of Ghanaian life. While there is a deep sense of community outside of the home, it has been surprising for all of us how little talking and interaction happen between most families day to day.
My experience in Accra was certainly an exception as my family was all older women and they would chit chat all the time, but more traditional families follow an astonishingly silent and disengaged from one another, particularly among married couples.
Electricity is very intermittent, and one evening during one of the very frequent outages my very pregnant host mom Beatrice was lugging water up a hill with little Nasawa tucking at her hip. I was completely shocked to see my host dad Maxwell say “Alright, I’m going to town”, get in his car and disappear for 5 hours. (…insert post title here)
As I shared this story with class Dr. Yemi proceeded to explain that the phenomenon was completely normal and Papa Attah side commented: “Why not? Pregnancy is not an illness!”
This totally floored me, not only is Papa Attah one of the sweetest, most caring men I’ve ever known, he actually happens to be the grandfather of Beatrice, the pregnant woman in the story.
Marriage in our individualist culture of the West is a matter of two people coming together in love. It is difficult for us then to understand how marriage here functions as a union of two families. While there is dating and personal connection between men and women, the union of marriage and the gender roles within it are a matter rooted in thousands of years of tradition, and a need to create harmonious and growing communities.
Thousands, the USA is not even 300 years old as a nation, the Akan have thousands of years of existence. Long before modern legal system, marriage brought two families together; a way growing your community, tradition governs roles and expectations of all involved so that society could continue to thrive in harmony.
Today, marriages occur in the court and/or under ‘customary’ law, customary marriages are respected legally, and that allows for polygamy, inheritance agreements and other contracts between families to continue to exist. In fact, this communal idea of marriage is still so important, that most couples aren’t even present at their customary wedding; it is only their family elders who meet, agree and sign.
Therefore, it is within this culture rooted in such deep traditions, that the roles of men and women are shaped. As a Westener, it’s easy to misunderstand this, seeming women as “powerless”, as opposed to recognizing the roots and role of women in the context of a traditional society. Giving women the role of silent homemakers was not about gender or power, but about creating a role that ensured all children and homes were taken care of within a community. In the way the warrior had the expectation to protect and the hunter the expectation to bring food, women had the expectation to care for homes. In this way a harmonious growing community could be ensured for thousands of years.
So, today it is commonly okay for a husband to not help in the home, and for women to let men decide issues outside the home. Or for husbands and wives to not talk to each other, it’s not some deep fairytale love that manages households, but the societal expectations given to them as husband and wife. Just the same, a man could never demand what and when food will be cooked, he has no position or right to do so.
Everyone has their part, not just in their home, but within the whole community. Women are not limited in careers; I’ve met plenty of female police officers and scholarly leaders. In fact, it’s ‘un-womanly’ for a woman to not work outside to help support the home. However, if you ask any Ghanaian woman a ‘career driven’ one or even one that is just selling food in the street ,what their main goal or purpose is, it is to be a wife and mother. It’s what the tradition and culture value in a woman, and what women value in themselves.
It’s not about ‘power’, or ‘men are better/stronger than women’ mentality that we have. Women have plenty of powers. In fact, the Akan follow a matrilineal lineage; everything is inherited through the women. A man’s children are not considered his own, but rather his wife’s. Only his sister’s children can inherit his property. The ‘queen mother’ (the oldest woman in the royal family) decides which man will be the chief or king of a village or town. Many of these inheritance rules are still observed under customary law agreements.
Granted, in this changing world, things are not always strictly traditional. That same host dad who would disappear for hours at a time while my very pregnant mom slaved away at home, was also the one who cooked on weekends to give her a break. In one of my friend’s home, it was the dad and sons who were in charge of all the ironing of clothes and washing of dishes. In this way, exceptions can be found all over, but the roots of tradition are very deep, and setting my Western perspective aside to better understand them is a process that can be enormously enlightening.
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